Life has been a bit crazy recently so I thought why not do a blog post reflecting on 2017 so far being as we are half way through it (I have no idea where the time has gone but here we are in June).
So for those of you that don't know, I started my first proper job back in March after having 2/3 years off because of anxiety. After all of the doubts and breakdowns I had at the start...nearly 4 months in and I'm still there which is a big achievement for me. I'll be honest, it's been difficult. I've had my moments...a lot of moments where I've wanted to give up. I've had breakdowns, panic attacks, very anxious days...but I'm still coping which is good. My mental health has been pretty up and down (more down) with this job but I'd like to think it's helped me grow as a person (not height wise...5'3" is what I will forever be now) and gain a little confidence.
I have found it really difficult to blog though. I think about this blog everyday. I think about how I want to post more and about how I want to improve my blog. It's just been really difficult for me. I either don't have the time or if I do have the time then I feel too drained to write anything or to even think of anything to post. I've had so many ideas but shut them down immediately which is really frustrating. I hope by the end of the year, I've started to find a balance of working and blogging as I love to blog.
Oh yeah...not forgetting (I nearly did forget awks), I turned 21 in April. This is where it all goes downhill for me. I am now officially old. Everything aches. Nights out are a struggle. I've started using a trolley when I pop to the shop. I just feel old. I did a post about it if you wanted to give it a cheeky read (http://jodderss.blogspot.com/2017/04/i-am-21.html).
Now on a more serious note, we had all hoped that 2017 would be a good year...especially compared to last year. But in the past month, a lot of things have happened in the UK. My heart feels so heavy about it all and I just want to say that my thoughts are with anyone and the victims that have been affected by recent events. What it has proved is how much our country can come together and how amazing our emergency services are.
But yeah...2017 has been bit of a weird and overwhelming year so far. I'm still trying to get used to this big change in my life but I have noticed a difference in myself. My anxiety is still there, I still struggle and I'm still don't feel like I'm at the point in life where I can say that I am happy but I'm in a better place than I was a year ago and I can't help but feel proud of myself.
If I end up doing an end of the year reflection post then I'm hoping it will be filled with positivity (I'll try not to get my hopes up high because my life is a sucker for being let down...how cute 😉😉)
xxx
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